Also, tomorrow I am officially putting uni on hold for the time being.
Computer sciences, that is. And, I would’ve done it last week already, but the Dean wasn’t there, and I have to sort out everything re: scholarship with her first.
That is, fingers crossed she doesn’t tell me I have to pay them back like 10,000 pounds, or something. Which I technically shouldn’t, as it wasn’t me who got that money in the first place; they got it, just from somebody else instead of me, plus, I’ll still be officially enrolled and everything.
Only taking a year (for starters) off to explore a job opportunity, which isn’t unheard of even in our educational system, so I’m not doing anything ~wrong. (Despite my grandparents still insisting so, yet, thank God, not as much as they used to.)
I’m finally following my dream full-on, and now, thinking back, I realise that writing and film was the first and only thing I always really wanted to do.
And the best part is, I eat everything I did before. Including chocolate, ice cream, cake, and all kinds of sweets. I just don’t eat as much, which is not a problem as I don’t have the need to, either.
I exercise though, about 4 hours every day (2 hours of active training + 2 hours on the machines), which I started doing not to lose weight, but for the job I’m preparing for, and now I’m positively hooked! I can’t wait to start swim practice, and weapons training… Now, why did that sound like I’m preparing for the Hunger Games?
Most importantly, I feel great: nothing ever hurts anymore, and for the first time in forever I actually feel like I’m in my body, and not in some huge spacesuit you can’t really make coordinated moves in. (Not that I was ever actually huge; just size 6/8, but now it looks like I’ll be size 2/4 in no time, and without really trying.)
However, I used to, well, not hate my body, but feel awkward in it for a long time, and now I’m loving it, yet not (just) because of how I look, but because of how I feel. Accomplished. Full of life. Healthy. Happy.
Which is why I’m starting to see my reflection showing who I am inside as well.
Then again, I’ve had (and still do!) so much to do re: job opportunity that I didn’t even notice the week pass by. So, it’s not like I can afford going somewhere, when I literally don’t have time to sit down for half an hour.
Also, very probably going to New York in July. (eeek!)
Guess I'll sleeping on the streets for the next 4 days in London.
'Cause I just learned last night that the hostel I made reservations with 10 days ago had in the meantime sold my room. FML.
So, I’ve been looking for an alternative option ever since then, but there are no more available rooms anywhere for under 800 pounds—the kind of money I simply don’t have—, except maybe one to share with 11 strangers, yet after all that had happened last winter, I’m just not ready for that.
And now, my bus for Zadar is leaving in an hour, and I’m not even sure I can catch the plane with that one, but it’s the only one, so yeah.
Hopefully, I’ll get to London by midnight, but where am I supposed to go after that?!
(The thing is, it’s not just Avengers, and adventures, and fun stuff I’m going for; I have to sort out something for a job opportunity, and it can’t wait.)
…and that morning I made a decision, and took a plane to London to catch a gig that afternoon, and spent the night in this crazy airport hotel that looked like something out of StarTrek (which is why I booked it), and it was the last time I remember being truly happy, and excited, and carefree—not as perfectly as I was in autumn 2010, but the closest to that I guess—, and though I’m glad for everything I’ve learned since then, and all the stuff re: writing I’ve done, I miss those days so much.
Aaand, I’m just really looking forward to the 19th, and the new adventures, and living my life to the fullest again, and most of all, just being blissfully happy for a change.
Though today did start as sort of horrible, it’s turning into one of the best Easter Sundays ever. :)
We just had a holiday-family-lunch at my grandparents’ place, something we do every year, sure, but since Grandma was in hospital, it didn’t look like we’d have any kind of celebration this year, so the whole experience, I guess, made me appreciate the little things like these more. Also, Grandma’s cooking.
I got some cool presents, too: like this glowing necklace I’d been wanting forever, more exercise equipment for my new ~healthy lifestyle, plane tickets to London, and money to get a dress made for the premiere, but most importantly, understanding from my family re: my decision to drop computer sciences, and pursue a career in writing.
Naturally, at first there was yelling, and crying, and whatnot, just as I’d expected, but they did listen to what I had to say, and even though my choice could’t be farther away from what most of them (read: everyone but my Mom) had in mind for me, it’s my choice, and they promised to respect that, so I guess in the end they do really just want me to be happy.
Also, I’m finally done with the work, stress and chaos overloaded haze that was the past two weeks, so I’m back to living in my own timezone, knowing which day it is, and not walking around the house like a zombie on drugs.
So, I wish you all a happy and fulfilled Easter! :)
Do I expect too much? Get my head filled with all these crazy ideas while watching the promos, that after all that build-up the actual episodes seem somewhat… “meh”?
I mean really! The whole “Mona is A” thing is not a reveal; it’s a cop-out. And I honestly hoped they’d go some other road, not only ‘cause I actually liked the idea of Mona being an ally to the girls, but mostly because there were so many other less predictable choices with far more interesting explanations, and they didn’t revealing the real A either (we all know they can’t do that, or we wouldn’t have a show for much longer).
That aside, I really did enjoy the episode—especially Ezria and Spoby moments—, the whole masked ball setting / costumes was both beautiful and spooky, and if this wasn’t “the big finale”, and we didn’t have to wait till summer for the ton of new questions to start being answered, I probably wouldn’t have minded the lack of (promised) shock-factor and closure, at all. The return of Agent Reyes Dr. Sullivan (and Toby with her, tbh) was a really nice surprise though, since the very possibility never even crossed my mind.
As for Maya… I don’t know. I used to love her, as a character, and with Emily, so much, but her behaviour these last few episodes made me care less about whether she was alright, and more about what if she was one of the bad guys all along.
Also, I saw The Hunger Games today, but I’m too tired for a “proper review”, so I’m just gonna paint my nails, watch the PLL finale (finaly!), and then go into the full-rant!mode after a good night’s sleep.
(Yes, I’m back in the wonderful world of infinite grayness, smog and concrete, called the city.)
I’m already missing Fuzine terribly though—places on the main street, the playground by the lake, and our cute little apartment in the attic the most. I’m seriously considering having some of Ancient Future set / filmed there too, as the old town, and the river bank, just scream of the medieval alien town where the Senators and later a’Dracone & co, had their MoD Squad (think this weird mix between musketeers, space marines, and the Knights of Camelot) training.
Plus, our bedroom was basically half of a pyramid just big enough to fit a double bed, with actual hieroglyphics on the walls, and it’s just giving me all these ~ideas.